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dangerhamster:

rnarker:

a man walks into a zoo. the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. it’s a shitzu 

this is literally my favourite joke ever

queennubian:

skeptictanks:

cumberbitchsandwich:

cartersostoopid:

remember when the teacher dragged a tv on wheels like this kind of thing

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and you knew it was gonna be an awesome day

is anyone on here even old enough to remember this?

Anyone who went to a school with really shitty funding definitely does

::raises hand and slumps across desk::

lameprlncess:

nopeitynope:

i just ran 3km my calves are killing me

[MURDEROUS BABY COW NOISES]

theplanlaugh:

So my dad has this new idea: Take this wonderful wasabi thing

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Turn it into beautiful, small rectangles, wrap them in laminated paper and put them in a trident box, so that it’ll look like this:

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Give it to someone when they ask you for gum and watch as their mouth burns. Enjoy.

neenuhbee:

queenaisling:

a-weeping-fangirl:

When the back of a book has a bunch of reviews instead of a summary

Except for Ellen’s book right

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and tina fey’s
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psychofactz:

 More Facts on Psychofacts :)
eternal-scout:

secretpolice-carnation:

artofadesignermind:

Town designed to look like a drought burdened desert

that is stealhy as fuck imagine looking down on that shit from an airplane yo would never know there was a fucking city down there

((Headcanon Night Vale))

eternal-scout:

secretpolice-carnation:

artofadesignermind:

Town designed to look like a drought burdened desert

that is stealhy as fuck imagine looking down on that shit from an airplane yo would never know there was a fucking city down there

((Headcanon Night Vale))

uglyvevo:

i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark